Your urge for use of sex toys suddenly takes a nosedive. You of course, get concerned. Could it be that your libido has taken a nosedive too? Or even worse still, could it be that your libido has gone the dodo way? – Dead and gone? You look at your collection of sub collars and all you can do is reminisce the good old days when all you needed was one look and bam! You got wet! You reach out to a friend in the same loop and they mention something that gets your attention – you’re using the right toys for the wrong occasion and vice versa. Not that you’ve never heard people say the same thing. You’ve heard before only that you’re now having a great eureka moment – it all makes sense now.

Here’s the thing. Sex toys are just like other toys – the ones you had when you were still a child. They can be exciting at first. Sooner or later though, the excitement dissipates and before you know it, the toy can only evoke distant memories of nights peppered with multiple euphoric orgasms. That’s why you need to diversify. Have a collection if possible. Like they say, variety is the spice of life. The point here is, you can always switch from one toy to another just to keep things a little bit exciting. So, how exactly do you figure out the right toy for the right occasion? Well, much of it hinges and around logic. Read on to learn more.

Prepare Your Body

Your body is a work of art – a marvel. When it comes to sex, it intrigues even further. To put that into perspective, sex may involve use of your reproductive organs. Much of it happens in the brain though – it actually a mind game. This means only one thing – focus is essential when it comes to sex. In other words, calm your mind.

Calming your mind for sex may sound hard at first. Surprisingly, it is easy. First off, keep in mind that familiarity breeds contempt. You may have been on a routine for so long your body now considers the routine a cliché. It doesn’t matter how expensive your sub collar, vibrator or dildo is. Once sex feels like a routine, the toys will let you down. To avoid that, change bedroom environment every once in a while. Light up scented candles, switch on some music and put away your phone. If you have water resistant toys, soak yourself in the bathtub and try the toy there.

Handheld Toys

You probably don’t know this but there are hundreds of handheld toys designed for both men and women. Small, handheld toys also happen to be extremely popular world over. Strangely, many people don’t really put much thought it how and when they should use their handheld toys. Take the vibrator for instance. Using it may sound as easy as buzzing it on and rubbing it around your clit in circular motions. But while that it ideally how it should be used, there’s really much more into using it and achieving orgasms than just rubbing it on your clit. The timing should for instance, be perfect. You should be aroused enough to enjoy the toy you’re using.

You may have to go back to the basics here. Did you ever read the instruction manual that came along with your toy? Manufacturers are different. Some change a few things as far as usage is concerned just to give you a unique experience. So yeah, take your time to read a thing or two about your toy.

Then there is the age factor – your toy, just like you, is aging. It may not buzz as strongly as it used to when you first bought it – even at its highest vibration mode. Unfortunately in this case, the best you can do is just hit the sex store once again for a new toy.

Also Read: What It Takes To Prepare For Your First Night Of Sex Toy Escapades

Strap Ons

Teamwork – that’s the keyword here. You already know why – you can’t use a strap on your own. The same can be said of sub collars. They are all toys not designed for solo use. If you’re struggling to enjoy them, then maybe you need to have some pep talk with your partner. Before then though, make sure that you’re good. That is, you’re not the problem. Even if you are, be ready and willing to make amends and compromise where necessary.

For strap on, the cardinal rule is pretty simple – consent. Then secondly, you and your partner must be in the mood for sex. Sure, there are times when you want to surprise your partner with some good sex. That’s cool. It is in fact, a sexy thing. However, you must still take your time to prepare your partner. In simple words, foreplay is everything.

Take time to study your partner really well. Get to know their erogenous zones. Get to know what tickles their fancy. As you do all these, try to learn a thing or two about your body as well. You certainly don’t want to give a good time and get nothing in return. Sex as they say, is two way traffic.

Then there are other seemingly subtle yet vital issues that can hamper your direct to ticket to enjoying your sex toys. Take the strap on for instance. The phallic design could be either too big or too small. Its length could also be a problem. The same thing can be said of your thunderbeads and sub collars.  It could be too tight or somewhat uncomfortable for one reason or another. Make amends where necessary. For the strap on dildo, the best you can do is to simply change the strap on for a new one.


Never underestimate how important lube is when it comes to sex. Lube is to sex what salt is to your food. Sure, you can eat your food without salt but you certainly won’t enjoy it. As strange as it may sound, lube could be the primary thing making it hard for you to enjoy sex. This is especially the case when you have a partner. If you’ll be getting laid for hours, then by all means get some lube. At some point as you have fun, things will dry up. Relax, it is normal. Lube will save the day.

Always go for water based lube. It is easy to clean off surfaces. It doesn’t stick and even more importantly, it hardly ever reacts to human skin. Silicone based lube is also a good choice only that it can easily stain linen. You’ll like how it lingers on your skin for long, so you won’t have to use too much of it. Whichever option you go for here, spice things up a little by going for scented lube.

Wrap Up

Don’t give up on your toys. It so happens that every once in a while the toy you once couldn’t go a day without losses it’s magic. Its charm on you doesn’t work anymore. Well, that’s normal. If you ask around, those with sex toys will tell you that the feeling is more or less like a rite of passage. Some sort of curve – a learning curve of sorts. Once you’re over it, you can master how to make the most just about any sex toy. So yeah, be patient. Try to figure out where the problem is – you already have a clue from the aforementioned tips. Once you figure out the problem, take your time to fix it.

Also Read: 7 Reasons Your Adult Toys Give You Different Experiences Each Time You Use Them