The big night is quickly approaching. It’s gonna be a night like no other. Sure, you’ve had sex with your partner so many times before. Everything was great at first. You couldn’t get your hands off each other. Then gradually, sex started to feel like a chore. You weren’t excited about it as much as you were when you were newlyweds. You had to go through therapy. It was only then that your therapist suggested you try something new – sex toys. So yeah, you bought a clit vibrator, sub collars and some fist powder. You can’t wait to get started.

Now, here’s the thing with sex toys. And it doesn’t really matter which toy you go for here. The rule is simple. If it’s your first time, prepare yourself well. Take as much time as you need to prepare your mind and body. Here’s how to go about it.

Expect Mishaps

You’re both armatures. Newbies so to speak. The sub collar you went for may look like a simple toy to use until you try it on your partner. You then realize you still have a long way to go. That’s not all though. Expect a myriad of many mishaps. Think of it as the first time you tried to ride a bike. It felt awkward. You couldn’t find your balance which meant you couldn’t pedal, which meant you couldn’t ride. Before long though, you got your balance and rode the bike. It is exactly the same thing with toys. You may take an hour or two learn the ropes and the intrigues around the toys you have. That’s expected. Beyond the learning curve though is where the magic and the bliss await.


Pick random sex toy video tutorials and you’ll quickly notice one thing – the models are always clean. That fact alone should tell you something about sex toys. Ignore hygiene and you’ll most likely have a hard time enjoying your first ever sex toy experience. Prioritize it and you’ll have a time of your life.

It is easy to see why hygiene plays a key role when it comes to sex toys. First off, bodily fluids are always exchanged during sex. Throw in sex toys into the picture and you certainly have something to be concerned about. This is especially the case with penetrative toys. Keep in mind that hygiene in this context should always be considered before, during and after sex.

Start by making sure that you are clean. Shave your pubes if you have to. There shouldn’t be the slightest hint of body odour. Then move on to your toys. Make sure they are clean before use. Then during use, have some wet wipes with you. The wipes will come in handy when you want to clean the toys before switching roles. The wipes will also come in handy after sex. Simply wipe the toys before drying them and storing them.

Be Ready To Learn New Stuff

Expect to learn a few things about your body and sex toys in general. This is perhaps one of the most exciting things you’ll notice once you start using sex toys. There are so many things you don’t know about sex toys, your body and your partner. It takes some kind of escapades in between the sheets with your partner to learn some things.

There are erogenous zones on your body you’re yet to discover. Likewise, there are spots on your partner’s body that respond a certain way to stimulation. These are things you wouldn’t ever learn were it not for sex toys.

Remember that when it comes to use of sex toys as a couple, the idea is to have fun. The pinnacle of that fun is to orgasm in a way you’ve never orgasmed before. This may mean taking your time to understand how your partner responds to sex toys and how long it takes for them to orgasm. Think of it as a classroom only that this time, you’re having fun as you learn. You’ve both never used toys before so you really don’t know what it takes to orgasm off a toy. Take your time to observe and learn. Just don’t forget to have fun as you learn.

Follow Your Partner’s Cue

This is all about listening to your body. The rule here is very simple. Listen to what your partner tells you. Your partner may for instance wince and point out that a toy is making them uncomfortable. That’s your cue to stop what you’re doing. It is even more important where pain is involved. Stop what you’re doing anytime your partner informs you they’re in pain.

One of the best ways to ensure you have a good experience with sex toys is to set some ground rules before the ‘game’. Agree that you’ll communicate well. This means letting your partner know you’re having a good time and in the same breathe, letting them if you’re experiencing some discomfort.

Be Willing To Try New Stuff

You’re already here – learning stuff about sub collars and many other sex toys. That’s a good step. Now take the extra step to learn new stuff by simply having the courage to try new things. You’ll quickly learn that sex is as wide and as deep as the oceans of Planet Earth. You can’t exhaust the depths. In that regard, be willing to try out new stuff with sex toys.

Take time to read and even watch sex toys tutorials with your partner. You’ll learn new things most of the time. There’s no harm trying out the things you learn. As long as none of you is getting hurt and you’re both on the same page about the things you want, you’re good to go. In simple words, consensual sex applies even when and where sex toys are included.


Never forget to use some lube. This is especially the case where you want to try out penetrative sex toys. Lube will for starters, make it easy for you to slide in all the penetrative toys you want to use. More importantly, lube always guarantees extra pleasure.

Note that there is water based lube. Then there is silicone based lube. Both are good so it really boils down to what you’re into. Water based lube stands out as idea in many cases because it is easy to wash off surfaces. The only downside is that it doesn’t last on surfaces for long. Silicone lube on the other hand stays on surfaces longer. You’ll need plenty of soap and water to wash it off though.

Set The Mood Right

Light up some scented candles if you have to. Sex happens in the mind as you may have already learnt by now. Over and beyond this fact though lies yet another important fact – that the environment where you have sex plays a key role in determining the quality of sex you’ll have. That means an untidy bedroom will hamper your chances of enjoying sex whereas a neatly organized one is all you need for great sex.

Wrap Up

Preparing for sex is always a good idea. It actually doesn’t take much even where sex toys are involved. All it takes is in the first place, two willing parties. From then on, pretty much everything else becomes simple.