Picture this – you just bought a new set of adult toys. You have with you a pricy sub collar, some thunder beads and some fist powder. This isn’t your first time using sex toys. You’re actually an expert in your own rights. You in fact, have some rare vibrators and anal plugs. You’ve been in the game for close to a decade. For that long, it’s be easy to assume you would know all that needs to be known about sex toys and your body. Strangely, you actually don’t know much. You find it weird that each time you use sex toys, you end up with a new experience – one’s that totally different from the previous one. So, why exactly does this happen?

Your Body Is A Complex Work Of Art

Your body isn’t as simple as you imagine it is. It is a complex work of art – one that’s hard to explain. You only need to look at the amount of research going on all over the globe put this assertion into perspective. Sexology has become a thing. Professors dedicate their time and energy sometimes for years all in a bid to understand sex and everything around it. They don’t seem to agree, just as has been the case for decades.

What feels good today may feel way better tomorrow. The thunderbeads you’re into today may not turn you on tomorrow. You could wake up tomorrow craving for some action involving thunder beads. Better yet, your partner who’s miles away can easily cross your mind and suddenly evoke a longing for bondage sex involving a sub collar.

Your State Of Mind

Sex has actually been proven to be a mind thing. It all starts with your brain. The brain is yet another complex organ. So to figure out sex, you first have to figure out how your brain behaves before sex, during sex and after sex.

Notably, you’ll have a hard time enjoying sex if you have a disturbed mind. On the contrary, you’ll enjoy sex even with the cheapest thunderbeads if you’re relaxed. This means that you can actually have two different experiences using sex toys depending on your state of mind. Of course the right thing to do is to ensure you’re calm before using sex toys. A little nervousness or anxiety will spoil the moment.

Note too that sex can still come in handy when you’re already stressed. It has after all, been proven to be a stress reliever. This can be confusing because on one hand, the basic rule is that you can’t enjoy sex unless you’re relaxed. On the other hand, it alleviates stress. So, what exactly is the true position. Notice the difference in these two assertions. If you’re already stressed, try the best you can to remain calm before sex. That is, take off your mind from what’s stressing you for a moment just for the same of having sex. Ignore your troubles in other words.

The feel good factor that comes along with sex is actually a hormonal issue. Enjoy sex over and over and before you know it, the feel good factor will overwhelm the stress hormone. It’s not magic, it is science.

Your Expectations

Your expectations will certainly have a bearing on how much you enjoy sex. With that in mind, do the best you can to manage high expectations. Using thunderbeads for the first time? Yeah, you could be excited about the whole experience and pretty much looking forward to having it. What happens though when you have all the toys you want but your partner lets you down? Or you have all the toys you need but then again you don’t know how to use them?

If you’re still a novice, trying to find your way with sex toys, then you really have no choice. Manage your expectations in a way that you won’t feel bad if you’re first ever experience is underwhelming. It is good to have average expectations then end up having a mind-blowing experience. Such a scenario will depend on two things as already hinted – right use of your toys and an experienced partner.

Prepare well before your first ever experience with toys. Shave down there if you have to because hair can easily stand out as deal breaker. Let your partner know too in advance what you’re expecting. If you’re partner doesn’t know that you’re about to use toys for the first time, let them know. That way they can be gentle with you have you follow their lead.

Your Choice Of Toys

Think of toys as cars. There are expensive multi-million cars then there are every day average cars. Both will get from point A to point B. One will however, get you to point B in style. Sex toys are the same. Many will give you the orgasm you want so bad. Not all will get you the big O in style.

Here’s the thing – there are sex toy brands that have been in the market for decades. They have proven track records. Users swear by their brand names. The only catch is that they more often than not, come with hefty price tags. Sure, there are exception where some brands are affordable and still go on ahead to give you orgasms you’ll always look forward to. This is an exception though, not a rule.

Use different brands of sex toys and you’ll most likely end up having different experiences. That’s just how the cookie crumbles. The rule here is simple. Try variety. If you ever come across a brand that works well for you, stick to it.

Your Erogenous Zones

Your body has several erogenous zones. These are simply zones that turn you on when touched or played with well. They either make you wet or rock hard. It so happens though that there are zones you’ll discover with time. It may take your partner to help you figure out where yours lie. And even after finding a zone, there’s always a huge chance you’ll find another zone and another. Each discovery will come along with a different experience. So yeah, brace yourself. New sex toys actually almost always ends up unearthing new erogenous zones.

Your Overall Health

It doesn’t matter how expensive your toys are. If you’re unwell, you’ll struggle to enjoy them. This is especially important with your reproductive organs. Once you notice something wrong down there, refrain from toys for a while. Get treated first then go back to your toys later. It could very well be that you had issues you hadn’t discovered which is why your experiences are underwhelming. Get treated, have a clean bill of health and you’ll quickly notice a huge difference.


Yup! Alcohol can easily affect your experience with toys. For a good experience, stay sober. There’s no hard in having ‘drunk sex’ though. if you and your partner are okay with it, go ahead by all means. Go slow with the toys though. If you’re a newbie, ditch the alcohol. Simply have your first experience while sober.

Wrap Up

You don’t have to worry why you always have different experiences with toys. There’s always a good explanation for that. It could be the toy brand you’re using, your health, your partner and even your state of mind. You don’t have to worry about anything. The different experiences you’re having are normal. Unless pain is involved, you’ll be fine. Be moderate though with how you use your toys. Slow down.