You had high expectations. You imagined everything would be exactly like you had pictured in your mind. Then it happened. You got the toys. Your partner got some too. The whole experience was good only that it wasn’t what you expected. You thought it would be better.
Here’s some bad news – the first time sometimes feels awkward. Here’s some good news – everything gets better with time. Remember how awkward it felt the first time you had sex or kissed the person you were in love with? No doubt you do. Well, it is exactly the same thing with sex toys. So yeah, there’s nothing wrong with the bondage sex toys you bought. Here is list of 11 lessons you should learn from that first experience. You should then be able to enjoy every other subsequent experience after that first ‘orientation’.
It’s Okay To Be Nervous
No one ever looks at foot fetish toys for the first time and think, ‘I really wanna try those!’ Think of it as falling in love. It takes time. Then before you know it, you’re deep in it. It is the same case with nearly all adult toys. You’ll at first feel nervous. You may have a hard time getting aroused. This is normal. You’ll get over it with time.
For many people, the idea of sex toys is what is exciting. Get some sex toys for sexcapades and things change. It doesn’t have to be like that, although ideally speaking, there’s nothing wrong with just falling in love with the idea of sex toys or fantasizing about them. To get over the nervous feeling, you have no choice but to relax. You’ll be fine. Sounds like a cliché but it is all you need to do to enjoy your toys.
There’s Room For Learning
The master you admire as far as sex toys are concerned. Was once a novice just like you. A little patience here goes a long way. There are things you’ll learn along the way. You probably think you have everything figured out about anal beads until someone comes along and shows you a different way of using them. You then have a big eureka moment upon learning and enjoying new stuff.
Here’s the thing with sex toys. They may be designed for use a certain way. This doesn’t mean though that you can’t be creative. Think of the magic wand vibrator and how women love them. You’d never imagine that initially the toy was actually a hand massager. Women started using them secretly as sex toys. The rest as they say, is history. Even though the vibrators can still be used as hand massagers, many women hardly ever use them for massage. They are all about sex.
Preparation Is Key
Never underestimate this fact. Whether you’ll be having a solo moment or with a partner, always prepare. This is particularly important if you’ll be using toys for the first time ever. Preparation in this case is as simple as reading the instruction manual before using the anal vibrators you just bought. Don’t assume you know how to use it just because you’ve watched stuff on the internet.
Then there is of course, the hygiene part. By all means, be clean even if it means being clean for yourself. Sex is good. It can also be disgusting though if you fail to prepare well for it. Be clean, shave if you have to. And yeah, clean your toys before use.
A Pain Could Be There
This is normal unless the pain is unbearable. Actually the thing here isn’t really all about pain but a little discomfort. It happens because your muscles haven’t really gotten used to toys. Yet again, patience here plays a big role. You shouldn’t expect to have a seamless, painless experience the first time you use a toy.
Communication Is Vital
Never assume your partner knows everything. Communicate, talk things out and be clear – one the same page before trying out new stuff. Let your partner know that you’re enjoying the moment and how you like certain things done in certain ways. Let your partner know too that there’s some pain. Do they need to slow down, go faster or completely stop whatever they’re doing? Your partner won’t know all these things unless you communicate.
Creativity Is Everything
As already hinted, try the best you can to be creative. Note that at some point, using your toys may feel monotonous. You may need to spice things up a little. With a creative mind, there’s no limit to what you can do to make things sexier and better.
More often than not, you don’t need to come up with complex ideas in the name of getting creative for sex. Far from it, you only need to take into account simple things like creating a good play list. You may also have to change the lights in your room to create a sexy ambience. Scent up the room too. Smell nice. You get the drift here. It is really the simple things that matter the most.
There’s Stuff You Don’t Know About Your Body
This will surprise you but it is true. There’s some much you still don’t know about your own body. It takes some sex toys and may be a creative, open minded and liberal partner to open you up to things you don’t know about your body yet. There are erogenous zones you may not have discovered yet. There are other weak spots that can give you a euphoric feeling once touched. You learn these things as you go. You may also discover that toys feel better when used a certain way. The point here is, you can learn a lot about your body from some toys.
Orgasms Can Feel Different
You may have read about this before. You can’t compare sex toys orgasms and intercourse orgasms. They both feel different. Women experience this better than men especially with vibrators. For many women, vibrators can actually force them to orgasm within minutes. The same cannot be said of orgasms from sex with humans. For toys, expect euphoric orgasms within minutes. The orgasm will certainly feel different. To be precise, expect a powerful orgasm.
Lube Is Everything
Whatever you do, however you decide to use your toys, always carry with you some lube. Lube is actually part of many bondage kits. It is important because at some point, you’ll need to have toys that just slide in with ease. Try to slide anything in when you’re dry and bam, pain! Only lube can make things easier for you.
Note that there are two types of lube – silicone and water based lubes. Of these two, water based lubes take the medal. For starters, they don’t stain. They’re also very easy to wash. The same cannot be said of silicone based lubes. They stain very easily. They also don’t wash off surfaces as easy as water based lubes do.
Cleaning Up Is Important
This should be easy for you. Unfortunately, many people get it wrong. All you need to do is have some paper towels and wet wipes by your bed side. Wipe off your toys after you’re done. Wipe them clean too before you use the toys again.
Using sex toys for the first time can be a little bit daunting. You could get nervous and may be even scared. It doesn’t have to be that way. Well, even in cases where you can’t help but feel nervous, there’s still a lot you can learn after that first experience. What’s important is the lessons you learn and how you can make your next experience better from the said lessons.